There’s no shortage of stories of sex scandals involving famous people, but one that sticks out to me is David Petraeus.  You’re probably familiar: He’s an American 4-star general who led (at different times) the war effort in Iraq and Afghanistan, then served as head of the CIA. A brilliant guy. He literally wrote the book on counter-insurgent warfare. He was touted as presidential candidate without people even really knowing what his political views were.

Then, just after last November’s election, Petraeus suddenly resigned after only a year at the CIA. It turned out he had had an extramarital affair with a woman who wrote his biography. The affair was discovered by CIA investigators, who look into these things because the last thing you want in the intelligence community is skeletons in the closet that open you up to blackmail.

Now this guy is talented, high-achieving, promising, disciplined, and smart. (One of my favorite stories: In the early 90’s, Petraeus was accidentally shot in the chest with M-16 rifle during a training exercise. He had major surgery, then left the hospital early after showing doctors he could do 50 pushups, without a break, a few days after being shot in the chest with an M-16.) He knows how to defeat terrorist organizations on their own turf. Yet he was brought down by a run-of-the-mill sex scandal, a series of stupid decisions, and some embarrassing emails with an attractive woman who fawned over him.

A fairly obvious point from this: Sex makes very smart, very wise, very competent people do very stupid things. That’s because sex is very good and very powerful. It’s kind of like a nuclear power plant: very good when working properly, very difficult to restrain when things get out of hand.

It’s designed that way.

adapted from the intro to a recent sermon on the 7th Commandment

This fall the Bible study we host in our home is studying lesser-known OT figures. This week was Jonathan, the son of Saul and friend of David.

There are several passages describing David and Jonathan’s friendship.

As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.
(1 Samuel 18:1-4)

And as soon as the boy had gone, David rose from beside the stone heap and fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times. And they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most. Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’” And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.
(1 Samuel 20:41-42)

“How the mighty have fallen
in the midst of the battle!
“Jonathan lies slain on your high places.
I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan;
very pleasant have you been to me;
your love to me was extraordinary,
surpassing the love of women.
(2 Samuel 1:25-26)

Be honest: These passages make you a little uncomfortable, don’t they? They do me. I don’t talk like this with my guy friends. And as you might expect, there’s no shortage of speculation about the details of David and Jonathan’s relationship. Interestingly, the same is true of Abraham Lincoln. There are ridiculously unsubstantiated fringe rumors that Lincoln was homosexual, based on his healthy friendships with men and the fact that he shared a bed with another man in a rooming-house– an entirely normal practice in his day.

In fact, read letters between men from about 1900 or earlier and you’ll be surprised at how open they are in expressing affection. In contrast, guys today typically express our positive regard by making fun of each other, or we don’t express it at all. Our loss. (It’s worth noting that David and Jonathan, who were willing to express themselves as above, were quite masculine, what with all the bear/lion/giant-killing and the multiple-soldiers-overtaking and such. It’s not like they were over at the coffeehouse reading Derrida all day.)

Why is this? I think that, ironically, it has to do with our culture’s obsession with normalizing homosexuality and blurring the distinction between the sexes. It is very rare that you’ll find an article about Christianity and homosexuality that doesn’t bring up David and Jonathan (or, even more strangely, Naomi and Ruth). The reason that’s ironic is that the alleged sexual liberators are supposed to be the ones who are comfortable with people being secure and free about their feelings. But let two men express affection, and suddenly they’re a closet case. Men have learned this lesson, and now we know: Don’t show your love for another dude. It’ll be taken the wrong way.

It’s a shame that this is where we are. It’s a shame that our culture can’t appreciate masculinity and femininity in all their varied forms, that we have to flatten the distinctions and ignore the obvious, lest we be accused of bigotry. But we don’t have to bow to it, guys. We need good, healthy, life-giving, and yes, affectionate relationships with other men. Part of getting there is being willing to express our love for each other, without fearing that it will make things weird.

One of the pleasant side effects of our unexpected summer in the States is that I was able to attend my denomination’s General Assembly, a yearly gathering of all our pastors and elders. Or, as I like to call it, PCA nerd camp.

GA has it all: Motions. Substitute motions. Points of order. An exhibitors’ hall with swag. If for some reason that doesn’t do it for you, there’s also seeing old friends, singing “A Mighty Fortress” with 1000 other dudes, and good restaurants within walking distance.

There is plenty of boring minutiae. (Did you pick that up in the last paragraph? I was being subtle.) And yes, we Reformed guys do like to debate, on some things others don’t think are worth debating. Of the two hot topics this year, neither vote went the way I wanted. But overall it’s great. Some of my favorite moments from this year.

• I went to a seminar on ministering to people with same-sex attraction (put on by Harvest USA, which is a great org). I sat near the front, and at the end glanced back behind me. There were about 30-50 of us– largely uncool middle-aged pastors and lay leaders, most of whom do not pastor edgy urban churches where you’d expect to hear this topic. Middle-aged suburban conservative evangelicals: This was a crowd of people who, according to everything you hear in the New York Times, should absolutely detest homosexuals and anything having to do with them. And yet there we were, learning how to reach out to them with the love of Jesus.
• Our denomination is overwhelmingly white, but we’re trying to do a better job of reaching all cultures. At one lunch I heard from an African American brother, reporting on our growing number of black and multi-ethnic churches. “After 30 years in this denomination,” he said, “I no longer feel alone.” We also have a growing outreach to Hispanic communities, and 2 churches made up mostly of Native Americans, one of which is led by a Native American pastor. And again, all the upper-middle-class white folks are thrilled with this. Eager for it.
• Lots of little overheard conversations: An older pastor encouraging a younger guy who’s looking for a job. Not giving him political tips, but reminding him to be himself, speak humbly but boldly, and trust that God has a place for him. An Iraq veteran who worked at the convention center talking to one of our Navy chaplains, who went into counseling mode when the guy brought up something personal. Several pastors who saw Prague on my name tag and were excited to hear about the growth of the church there.

My denomination is one small corner of the household of God. We certainly don’t get everything right, and we have our own sinful tendencies. We’re a family with issues, like everyone else. But I was grateful to spend a few days with a thousand other ordinary pastors who love God and his church. Most of us will never be famous or noteworthy, but Jesus sees, and he loves us. May that be enough for us.

I had a doctor’s appointment today. (I’m fine. Thanks.) The doctor told me some meds to pick up, so my plan was to take a tram, then a bus, hop off the bus to run into a pharmacy, then back on the bus to go home.

I was lost in some very deep and important thought on the tram, and missed my stop. (This happens more than I’d like to admit.) The next one was close, so I walked back up the hill to the previous stop to catch the bus. Mildly annoyed at all the steps involved in my afternoon, although for Prague they weren’t bad.

Just before the bus stop, I saw a welcome sight: the bright green plus sign that’s universal (well, here) for a lékárna, or pharmacy. I stepped in, got what I needed, and was out in less than 2 minutes. No hopping off the bus, or waiting to hop back on the bus. I probably saved about 30 minutes by going to that pharmacy instead of my usual one. Nice little moment.

Our days– everyone’s– have plenty of hard moments. There were probably people in that doctor’s office today who got bad news. But our days also have thousands of these nice little moments– when things don’t go as badly as they could, or some small thing works out. It’s nice when God pulls back the curtain a bit to let us see and appreciate one of those thousand little things.

Recent train of thought:

I think I’m ready to want an iPad. Not that I’ll buy one, just ready to want one.

If I had an iPad, I’d subscribe to some periodicals and read them on it… National Review, maybe a theological journal or two… it would be worth the money…

Oooohhh.

And that’s why Apple has more cash on hand than the US government.